I extinguished the light, cleansed my hands, changed my clothes, ate my meal; and then, I watched you. I watched your beautiful eyes narrow when you laughed, watched your hair fall across your face, watched your waist curve as you walked, watched your hips sway with every step, watched your cheeks flush when you grew warm, watched you approach me, watched you choose me, watched you reach for the stars in the night; in the mornings, I shared you with the gods and watched every atom of your body. Then, I watched your face turn sour as you ate that apple, then I watched you swallow with that arrogance in your expression. And then, I hated you.

I thought with my hatred, I pursued you with my hatred. With my hatred, I followed you. With my hatred, I took the other slice of the apple into my mouth; with my hatred, I apologized to the gods, with my hatred, I burned. Every atom of my skin burned with the hatred I felt for you, and I took great pleasure in this. While the pleasure of thinking of you numbed every atom of my body, I did not even realize I was burning. Burning was a blessing for me as long as you were in my mind. I kissed you with my hatred inside the flames. Who knows whether my lips burned from my hatred or from the flames. Every drop of blood in my body boiled rapidly, my chest swelled with the hatred I felt for you. I said, “Oh gods, what is the sin in this?” My smile curled with the hatred I felt for you. I hated you so much that the thought of burning together with you aroused me. While our hands were entwined, I had long been burning inside your eyes. Even before the flames touched my skin, your lips had touched my body. All my feelings, all my senses ascended into a void, into space. My feelings were you. My senses were you. All that I saw, heard, tasted, smelled, and touched was you. There was only you. Red and you. But red was not the color of the flames; it was the color of your gaze. Yet, I was greedy. I was too hungry for you.

I wanted to add a little more color to this painting. A little more red. A little more love. A little more hate. The flames should not have been the thing to stop your beautiful heart. No power could have done this to you except for me. A muffled sob slipped through your lips. It did not take you long to realize what was happening. Red now dominated the painting. You were so beautiful. For the first time, you were this beautiful, my love. Your naked body was surrounded by reds amidst the flames. Now, all I could hear were your moans, your beautiful face drowning in every curve of the pain I saw, the blood I smelled, and the beautiful body drenched in blood that I felt.

You had never been this beautiful, my love. Even the gods would have wanted to watch this finale. But I was helpless; I left you alone in this ending for a short while, because I was not worthy of such a beautiful end. As your body slowly surrendered, you clung to me desperately. Your eyes pierced my soul again with their crimson gaze. A smile appeared on your lips. A very grand smile. I chose for us the most beautiful end for you, the most perfect farewell that could be written for us, my love.

And you loved this ending I deemed worthy of you. You smiled. You took pleasure in the red. You understood me. You hated me. You hated me for everything. And this hatred intoxicated you. Your smile grew even wider. You loved this so much. And while I burned, I could only remember your smile. I could only remember your beautiful eyes that took pleasure in your own state. I could only remember the hatred I felt for you. I felt grateful to the gods, my love. Because this painting, painted with the blood you gifted me, was more beautiful than any sin could ever bear.