30 thoughts you may have with a loved-one’s ashes in your carry-on bag

by Jake Hamilton

July 5, 2026 | Experimental | i didn’t know this would be this weird!

  1. What was once out here (person, world) is now in there (ash, urn). Ashes to ashes, etc. etc. 
  2. She gets through security faster now (metal knee, when living). Related – what the fuck happened to the metal knee? 
  3. Security called for something called “the ashes tray”. “The ashtray” was right there, but maybe not something most people would appreciate? 
  4. Couldn’t hear the second TSA agent, and made her repeat “my condolences”. Weird phrase to hear from the “laptops out” people. 
  5. What pronouns does one give to a travel urn? She? It? 
  6. I’m travelling carrying two documents: a death certificate and a certificate of cremation. They ask for neither. I’m, in a strange way, a little bit disappointed. 
  7. What was once out here… 
  8. I hope someone takes me through the airport scanner someday. 
  9. Someone you hugged 7 months ago is now in an overhead luggage compartment. 
  10. You get used to carrying around someone’s remains in your bag pretty quickly. It does little to hinder your sightseeing, realistically. 
  11. You find yourself thinking a great deal about legacy. 
  12. You find yourself thinking a great deal about what she would have wanted. 
  13. You find yourself thinking a great deal about the fact that what was once out here… 
  14. There is very little consistency in the information about the legality of scattering ashes in these countries. 
  15. This would not have mattered to her. 
  16. Ashes don’t fall out of a scattering urn the way you expect them to. It isn’t big lebowski and it isn’t the descendants, but it’s probably somewhere in between. 
  17. You aren’t crying. Should you be crying? 
  18. You find yourself thinking a great deal about what she would have wanted. 
  19. What was once out here…
  20. A feeling of incredible gratitude that she wasn’t overly ceremonial (wanted a cardboard casket), and would’ve laughed hard at the Lisbon security agent shaking her like a martini. 
  21. What do you say when a security guard shakes your loved one like a martini? 
  22. I did not say the correct thing when the security guard shook my loved one like a martini. 
  23. Is she sending me signs? Do I believe in the sending of signs? 
  24. This time, ashes do fall out of a scattering urn the way you expect them to. 
  25. What was once out here… 
  26. You find yourself thinking a great deal about legacy. 
  27. You find yourself thinking a great deal about what makes a life well lived. 
  28. You find yourself thinking that if four people want to travel 4000 miles to make sure you have a good place to hang out forever, or just for a while, you probably figured it out. 
  29. You let go of what you’d been carrying, if only a little bit. 
  30. Not a bad place to stay a while.
30 thoughts you may have with a loved one's ashes in your carry on bag

Jake Hamilton is a a multidisciplinary designer, communicator, and artist based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. A graduate of Toronto Metropolitan University’s School of Professional Communication, he is currently pursuing a Master of Digital Media at The Creative School. His work has been published in the White Wall Review and performed at the Ottawa Fringe Festival.

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