women for  you. Darius, did you hear if Uncle Ian’s back in Sing Sing? Where’s the cranberry? Who cares about Uncle Ian, Malik, that idiot is a disgrace to this family but not as shit awful as Aunt Ebony. Is she still whoring herself out to every man-woman in a wig in town? And you think white  women are bad, Darius? At least she has a ripe ass, Sadie. I would tear that ass up. You’ll have to take a number, Darius. She’s whoring her way through Ohio. I thought she was fucking her way through Pennsylvania, Malik.No, Darius, she’s fucking Ohio now, then she’s going to fuck  Delaware. She should have fucked Idaho, Sadie. She could have brought us some decent  potatoes. Who the hell made these? Taste like bruised cow anus. Grandma did and don’t be rude,  Darius. You know she’s sensitive. Malik, she’s dead, for Christ’s sake. Pass the gravy. Darius,  she’s sitting beside you. Thanks for pointing that out, Sadie. You could have told me when we sat  down. Did she leave any cash? I hate it when old people die and don’t leave any money. Darius,  Sadie just told you she’s alive. The turkey’s dry. Then where is she? Malik, have you seen her or  did she sail off the earth with Uncle Ian, who’s probably in Sing Sing? Darius, you dumb fuck. Sadie told you she’s sitting beside you. Has anyone tried the stuffing? Personally, I ain’t eatin’  anything you cook inside a bird’s ass. Grandma cooked it, Darius. Can you be polite for once? Sadie, did she cook it from the grave? Darius, she’s sitting beside you, you dumb fuck! The ham  is undercooked. Malik, you’re just hoping to get my share of the spoils. Grandma doesn’t have  any money, Darius. Sadie, she’s got no money for you and your big, mudflap ass. The squash  tastes like a coyote’s teat. I guess our dead Grandma cooked this too, hey Malik? Who’s having  Thanksgiving next year? We can’t impose on Grandma again. Sadie, how do you impose on a  dead, old Grandma? Darius! She’s sitting beside you, you dumb fuck! What’s for dessert? Pumpkin pie, Darius. I made it myself. Terrific, Sadie. It’ll be as flat as your ass. Pie’s supposed  to be flat. Then we’re in for a treat, Malik. Christ in a crockpot! What’s that hand coming up over the table? That’s Grandma, Darius. She can’t sit up straight anymore. Did you get the meth  trafficking charge dropped, or will this one stick for once? Sadie, I took a plea and I just got out. I told you at Christmas, you dumb cow. At least you aren’t in Sing Sing with Uncle Ian. Aren’t they going to fry his ass? Did anyone bother to cook the cauliflower? I chipped a tooth. They  stopped frying people fifty years ago Malik. Now you know crime doesn’t pay, Darius. Crime pays bigger than your mudflap ass, Sadie, but it’s better-looking. Damn, I’m as stuffed as that  turkey. You look it, Sadie. We gotta do this at my place next year. Uncle Ian can join us if he’s out  of Sing Sing. Malik, he’s probably dead like Grandma. Grandma’s sitting beside you, Darius. Sadie, chop up that hand so I can eat it. It’s attached to Grandma, you idiot. Gotta taste better  than the beets. What happened to Uncle Ian this year, Darius? Don’t know why he isn’t here. He must have sailed off the end of the earth. That freeloader never misses a meal.